True love is a discipline in which each divines the secret self of the other and refuses to believe in the mere daily self. ~William Butler Yeats
For so long I have distanced myself from men emotionally. I have not allowed myself to get close to a man in many years. I don't even remember what it feels like. I am too scared. I will inch closer, but each time I get hurt and run or I turn away from the ones that try. I want to let my guard down, I want to trust someone and know what it feels like to fall in love. I don't know if I have ever had a mutual romantic love with anyone. I guess I did with my husband when I was 18, but even then...I don't know.
It's got to be a wonderful feeling...most songs and movies are written about it and families are formed from it. But how does someone get there? Isn't it human nature? I can accomplish so much with my life; from getting through homelessness with no help to where I am now. I have raised an awesome 10 year old girl, built my own house, drive a pretty sports car, go to school full time (with good grades), have had my very own office working in the accounting field since I was 19, ran two half marathons this year (before fracturing my hip), am physically attractive...yet I am completely clueless on this love thing which should be so natural and centers so many people's lives. People die, kill and go insane for love. Could love be so amazing that it would cause someone to sacrifice all they are? Maybe one day I will understand.
You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ~Dr. Seuss
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